guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
tell me about the fingering
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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