Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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