dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
