Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
