If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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