just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
