Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
