Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
