Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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