yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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