Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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