What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
