i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
