He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
