i was born a porn star she said
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
