Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
