help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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