I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think your dad took our porno
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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