When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
