I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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