This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
