i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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