I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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