she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i came on her dog
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
