u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
