With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize