I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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