How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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