I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
