I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
