what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
