I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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