my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize