i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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