How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
