You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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