You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
