ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
