I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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