Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
