I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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