That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
