i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
