We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
