Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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