Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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