If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
