Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
