Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
