jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
