Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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