I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
