god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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