they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
