dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
