I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize