After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
