we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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