ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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