and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
